Loving Your Car
Of all of the things I own, my car would have to be on the top of my list of what I am most grateful for. I literally cannot imagine my life without my car. Can you imagine your life without a car?
The obvious reason that I love my car so much is because of the convenience it brings to my life. If it were not for my car, how would I get to all of the events and activities of the week let alone to the grocery store? Every member of my family is involved in a variety of activities that they love being part of. Not having a car to get them to and from their favorite events would certainly be a challenge. I love my car because if I forget an item at the store I can simply turn around and go purchase it. If I were relying on public transportation or a friend with a car I would have much less freedom to do what I want.
I love allowing my family members to do things they love. I love watching my young daughters practice ballet or take swim lessons. My sons enjoy participating in flag football and in basketball after school. My husband plays in a city wide soccer league and I enjoy getting together with friends to scrapbook our families latest memories. Our car is the single thing that makes it possible for our lives to be rich and full. I cannot imagine forcing my kids or my husband to stay home all the time and find ways to entertain themselves. My car has brought an incredible richness to each of our lives.
Another thing I love having about a car is that it allows my family to have close friendships with people all across town. While we enjoy time with our close neighbors, some of our best friends happen to live a drive away, and having a car makes it possible to visit them and spend time together. Even my siblings and my parents live too far away to walk to their homes, so I have been very grate
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ful over the years for the ways my car has allowed me to stay connected to my family and friends.
Consider all of the ways your car has benefited your life. If you are anything like me, I take my car for granted. I do not take care of it properly and then I get frustrated when my car doesn’t run perfectly. In the past couple of years I have started getting the car in for regular oil changes, I have committed to keeping the inside and the outside cleaner, and I take it to a mechanic for a regular tune up. I figure that for all the great things my car does for me, keeping it cared for is the least I can do for my car.
If you love your car as much as I do, get it cleaned or tuned up today.
By: Otto Wynn
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When you live with an alcoholic one of the best survival strategies is to detach, preferably with love. If you live with an alcoholic or a problem drinker you will almost certainly find yourself worrying about if he is going to drink, when he is going to drink, what he is going drink, how much he is going to drink and what the consequences of the drinking will be. You are being sucked into his world and your life is being dictated by his behavior. Increasingly you will find yourself trying to control this world by seeking assurances that he won’t drink or won’t drink too much or won’t drink with the car or a thousand other scenarios.
People who live with an alcoholic often feel that they are changing. They can feel that their personality is changing, and not usually for the better. Where there was once a relaxed and carefree person who was fun loving and keen to socialize with friends now you probably feel like someone else entirely. You probably feel like you are constantly nagging, critical and bad tempered. Socializing with friends may be a thing of the past or alternately, if you and your drinker still socialize, it may be a nightmare for you.
You find yourself wondering what he will do or say, who he will upset and just how drunk will he get. It is little wonder that many people who live with an alcoholic withdraw from their friends. They feel guilty about their drinking partners as if it is somehow their fault and they feel ashamed and embarrassed to be with him when he is drunk. He may or may not be an abusive or belligerent drunk but even an affable and funny drunk becomes boring and tiresome pretty quickly.
Often people who live with an alcoholic have low self esteem, they do not like themselves very much. Indeed they often feel that they are not very lovable or even likable. Years of trying to change the alcoholic take its toll mentally and physically. You may find that you have problems sleeping, that you are constantly tired and your mood is always low and you often feel weepy, sometimes for no apparent reason. (These are some of the classic symptoms of depression and if you are experiencing them then you should seek help from your family doctor.)
You may find that your eating habits have changed and that you are losing weight or gaining weight. Often people who live with an alcoholic find that their general health is poor. They find themselves suffering from a variety of colds, flu and low level illnesses. Not only do they catch these illnesses easily they may also find that they have difficult recovering from them. Therefore they can find themselves feeling poorly for much of the time. Much of this can be caused by stress, which recent research has found can have an affect on the immune system.
Thus living with a problem drinker can bring many problems social, mental and physical. One way to reduce the impact and reduce these problems is to detach with love. In the next article we will discuss what detaching with love means.
John McMahon has worked in the addiction field for over 25 years. In that time he has worked as a therapist, university lecturer and researcher and has published widely. Help for people living with an alcoholic
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